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Hybrid Thoughts

12/27/2007

Happy New Year!


I have ten new drawings from my dad, and now I'm seriously behind on my blog. I feel like such a disappointment to all my 4.5 readers. Wish I could make it up to you guys. I'm not even good at responding to comments. But be assured - first thing I do when I get home from work is check out the comments on my blog. It always makes me smile to get them. And then I immediately cringe and feel awful for never leaving comments on everyone else's blogs.

Thing is, I do check everyone's blogs and would have loved to comment on all of them, but because this blog is under one account, and my regular gmail is under a different account, I can't seem to keep two windows open with different accounts, and it sucks! That's also the reason I don't post as much. I prefer to have my regular gmail account on the screen all evening, and in order to blog I have to log out and login to a different account.

Confused? Bored?

Yeah, I know how you feel.

So the concert we went to was absolutely FANTASTIC! I would LOVE to see it again. It was well worth everything (particularly going to bed at midnight and waking up at 5am for work the following day).

I've been taking a lot of photos, saving links, sending emails to myself with the intention of posting them on this blog. Somehow it never happens. Of course, it'd make sense if I emailed the CORRECT account when I try to remind myself what to post. But apparently, I'm not that smart when I'm at work.

I think work is draining my last brain cells.
But I was thrilled to find out that I'm not the only victim of this phenomena.

I invited a coworkers to join my family-in-law's celebration of Christmas. He did drop by but didn't stay because his daughter wasn't feeling well. Today I saw him and decided to grab a quick lunch with him. We sat and talked for 20 minutes about Israel, being Jewish etc. As I walked him to the elevator, he was silent for a few seconds and then turned and asked, "is your husband Jewish?" I just busted out laughing, "Ummm...I just invited you for Christmas at my mother-in-law's remember?"
I think it's the building where I work. I'm sure there's this sick building syndrome in this old structure.

Speaking of which...I have to tell you why the city of D.C. would be much safer if they banned me from ever entering it. As you all already know I work for the client who must not be named. So no search engine ever finds this blog.

Well one day as I stayed late at work, a coworker who left only 15 minutes earlier, called me from his cellphone. Now, this guy never calls me, so needless to say I was a bit hesitant to answer the phone. But I did. He proceeded to tell me that as he was walking out the building he smelled a very strong smell of something burning from a room on the first floor, but he couldn't open the door to check it out.

Well, with me being rather resourceful I found the little printed card left on my table by my other coworker who has had enough of me complaining that it's cold and urged me to call Building Management MYSELF if I ever have any complaints. So I took the card, read it carefully to make sure it was the appropriate call to make. And picked up the phone.

Ok, maybe I didn't read it very carefully. Maybe I just skimmed it. But I swear it had the building's name at the top, and I guarantee you it was the building I was sitting in.

The phone conversation went like this:
Guy who answered my phone (GWAMP): H0m3l@nd Security, may I help you?
Mybrid: Hi, a coworker called me and said there's a burning smell on the first floor, can you please send someone to check it because the room was locked?
GWAMP: Your name?
Mybrid: [full name given]
GWAMP: Where are you?
Mybrid: Right here.
GWAMP: Which State?
Mybrid (thinking to herself "ummm...you're kidding me???"): DC!
GWAMP: Where in DC?
Mybrid ("am I on candid camera?"): It's this building right in the center of DC.
GWAMP: Okay, let me send a dispatch over.
I hang up, thinking to myself - "what have I done???"

Not more than a minute later I hear sirens all around the building, and my coworker calls me and says, "well? did you call?" - I just about took his head off and told him those damn sirens in the background are HIS damn fault! But he didn't hear nor see anything, so he thought I was kidding him and hung up.

Two minutes later (mind you this is 6:30pm now), my phone rings:

GWAMP: "Ma'am, who do you work for?"
Mybrid: "client who must not be named."
GWAMP: "You don't work for the security force in the building, do you?"
Mybrid: "no sir, I just work here."
GWAMP: "Well, because 99.9% of the calls we get at this hour are from security personnel, and since we thought the situation was not under control by the building's security force, I dispatched the city's fire trucks."
Mybrid: "ummm...thank you (?!?!)" [gulp]
GWAMP: "You're welcome."

At this point, I put on my coat, put my hat one, put on my gloves, took the elevator to the exit door, covered my mouth and eyes with my hands, and rapidly made an exit through the fire trucks blocking my exit from the building. The nice fancy h0m3l@nd security emergency car was parked diagonally in the corner of the street, as I passed it by, doing my best to reflect the image of "you don't know me, you've never heard my name, I have nothing to do with blocking traffic in the city the day before Thanksgiving, and I don't even work here!"

I only inconvenienced 20 firemen I believe. Possibly a few more paperwork pushers who'd have to explain how they didn't process my call through the right channels. Thankfully, by the time I got out of the parking garage everyone left. All evidence of my wrong doing was out of sight. This may have never happened. Maybe I just dreamt it? One thing I know for sure, security at h0m3l@nd would be MUCH better off without me around making frivolous phone calls.

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12/16/2007

The Jew who Loves Christmas Music

Mike was tagged for a Christmas meme, but he didn't tag me (for obvious reasons). I wouldn't have an answer to any of the Christmas related questions, except one: 14. What's your favourite Christmas music?

This band turned me on to Christmas music and I can listen to them non-stop during this season.

So without wasting your time, I give you Trans-Siberian Orchestra - "Christmas Canon Rock"



Yes, Jews also like Christmas music. Not only that, but they even go to Christmas music concerts. In three hours I'll be sitting comfortably in a front row at the Verizon Center in D.C. watching this awesome concert:




It's my Christmas gift to my husband who loves their music, too. I bought the tickets while he was overseas in Australia (ummm...yeah, I think I forgot to mention that on my blog). I couldn't believe that I actually got front row seats for this show! I'm so excited.

You may all remember me posting links to the synchronized Christmas lights on this house two years ago. Well, since then we've seen it on TV ads, and many other copycats have appeared on the scene. Here's one successful house from this year's crop:




What do you think, Mike, care to admit you like Christmas music after watching these?

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12/09/2007

Handle this

My husband and I have a serious problem. We can't seem to agree on how to handle things before it's too late.

The result is a situation out of handle.

I present to you our bedroom closet as they were for an entire month:



My husband's solution for the situation out of handle...yes, you're looking at blue tape.

Our guests were quite amused by the colourful solution. But don't laugh, it worked!


Well now we have a new situation on hand. This one is really pulling us apart. We just can't seem to find the right pull.

The one for our new kitchen cabinets.

But right now we have one door pull we both absolutely love, but just can't afford for all the cabinets. But the more I look at it the more convinced I am that I NEED this one. I really do. There's something about being manhandled.

How much would YOU pay for this?







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12/07/2007

A Letter Across Time

I've been tagged. Only found out today.

If you haven't seen these meme's before, read this one, and this one.

The Rules:

Link back to the person who tagged you. Send a letter back in time to your 13 year old self. Tag 5 more people to do this meme.

I was considering writing this letter the first time I read it on Mike's blog, but couldn't come up with anything positive to tell myself. So my apologies if this letter turns out to be the most depressing post I've ever written here.


Dear young and crazy me,

You're not going to listen to me because you know better and you don't care what adults think. But I'm going to write this anyway, in the offchance that because it's written in English you'll feel curious to read it.

I know you've just recovered from breaking up with your second boyfriend (who was the cause of your breakup with the first boyfriend), and I know you've got a crush on someone in your class - I have good news and bad news. He'll become your boyfriend. But he'll also break up with you without ever kissing you. He'll talk about it, but he'll never initiate it. Give it a month and move on! Let it go. Don't spend the next four years avoiding him, avoiding looking at him, writing sad poetry, and feeling depressed. Your health isn't worth it! You're going to end up in the hospital because of it. Let it go.

I'm afraid to break some bad news to you. In about a year you're going to experience a tragic loss in your life. Your best friend will be fataly shot by a new friend he made in the neighbourhood he just moved to. Please don't let the guilt eat you up. Yes, you know his new friend is a loser. Yes, you know his new friend is one step from being a criminal. But you did everything you could as a 14 year old. You met your best friend and straight out warned him against being friends with this kid. You told him to stay away from him. You did what you could. The loss will be tremendous because he's like a brother to you. You grew up with him. But you will find a new soul mate in the mutual friend you both had. He'll become like a brother to you and you will be a comfort to each other for life.

Your next few years in High School will not be a walk in the park for you. You're going to struggle to stay above water. You'll spend hours upon hours doing homework, having no social life. The breakup from your boyfriend will send you to the hospital. You'll lose all your best friends. Kids are evil. They're kids. Let them be. You're about to find new friends. They'll visit you at the hospital and will become your best friends for life.

While you'll be busy feeling sorry for yourself and recovering from a broken heart, there's this guy in the other class whom you've seen (because it's hard to miss a 6'8" tall guy in school) - pay attention to him. Just because he hangs around with all the criminals of the school, doesn't mean he's one of them. They like him because he's tall and is great on their basketball team. He doesn't care about them. He's looking for a girl who'd appreciate who he is. Unfortunately, you're going to completely ignore him in high school. You'll never talk to him. But one day after you graduate from high school and start studying for university entrance exams, he'll recognize you, because he's always seen you at school. You're nine days older than him. You two are soul mates, you just don't know it yet. Had you met him two years earlier, you two would have gotten married and lived happily ever after.

But life doesn't turn out the way you ever thought it would. A year after you graduate from high school you will meet an American and fall madly in love. Your Israeli soul mate whom you will meet two years later, will be your sounding board when your American boyfriend doesn't write back to you or call you. Your soul mate will be there for you every time you need a shoulder to cry on. He will never tell you he's in love with you because he will know you're in love with the American. But he'll tell your sister-in-law (yes, your brother did end up marrying that girl you just met the other day). And your sister-in-law will tell you that your soul mate is in love with you. But you, cold hearted b*tch, will ignore it, and won't acknowledge him. In fact, it will take you 18 years to admit to him that you knew this. He will end up paying for your flight ticket to surprise your American boyfriend on Christmas. That's how much he cares about you.

When you return back from that visit, sit with your soul mate and talk to him about you two. Give him a chance to tell you how he feels. Don't be so selfish.

You're going to end up marrying the American. You're going to spend seven years getting a degree and ten years developing a career. It's all a big mistake. I know you won't listen to me, and I know you'll do it all over again if you could. But believe me, you should try to have kids sooner. You shouldn't wait til you're 29 to try.

Your 30's is going to be plagued by health issues. While you're doing fine right now, listen to your doctor, she's actually smart and does know a thing or two about prevention. Take the medication. Try alternatives. Don't assume that just because you're fine now it will stay that way forever.

Oh yeah, that musical instrument you play, the organ - don't stop! Just because high school is demanding and you have no time - FIND THE TIME. Music in your life is important for relaxing. You need it. Same goes for playing Tennis. It doesn't matter that you're not the best player. You like the sport and that's all that matters. You need it for your health!

You're going to spend one extra year beyond mandatory in art classes. Go ahead and spend the rest of high school doing art. Don't give it up. You're going to lose your artistic imagination if you let the math teacher control your life. You have a talent and you have an imagination. Don't let it go.

I do have some good news for you - in spite of your disease you will be allowed to join the Navy and serve the country like you want. You're going to experience the best two years of your entire life. You will never be happier. You will go through experiences that will shape the rest of your future. You will get recognized as best soldier of the year for that base. It will be the only time in your adult life that you will have to wear a skirt for the award ceremony. You won't wear one even on your wedding! How cool is THAT?!

But probably the best news of all I can tell you - remember all those best friends you lost in high school when you got ill? Remember how popular you were before you were hospitalized? Remember how you were ignored and left alone after you came back? Remember you had only three good friends after that month? It will all change after high school. You will learn your lesson and never tell another person about your disease. You will make hundreds of friends after high school! You will have the most awesome friends a person could ever dream of having. You'll gain your popularity back. And those hundreds of friends you'll gain - will one day find out about your disease, and overnight you'll have dozens of soul mates - people who care about you and love you. Life will really get better for you after high school. I promise!

One warning for your future, and you can thank me later: You'll live with your husband and dog (oh yeah, I forgot to mention after years of begging your mom for a puppy, you'll get one after you get married and he'll be the most awesome puppy in the entire world!) - you'll live with them in a townhouse. In 2005 sell it and move closer to Washington, DC. Just trust me on this one. But seeing that you probably won't listen to me, I suppose I'll just warn you now - you'll end up buying a house at premium price, and your old townhouse will be on the market over nine months and you will end up losing over $100,000 you could have had if you sold it in 2005! Not only that, but your paths will cross the Kitchen Contractor from Hell and you will forever regret getting a recommendation for a kitchen contractor from someone who's had her bath redone.

Sieze the Day! Stay as crazy as you are. So what if you'll never touch alcohol. You'll still be the life of the party without it.

Always yours,
Me.


Umm...er...all the people who read my blog have already been tagged. Well except, "Jesus's Birthday's coming" - I really think you ought to get in touch with your younger Christian self. Maybe you'll find out you're Jewish after all.

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12/02/2007

I have an addiction problem

Those of you who know me well enough, know that I only drink ONE drink. Day and night. I don't touch anything else. And yes, I do carry it with me into restaurants that do not carry this drink, since it has yet to become popular like it is back in Israel.

But my addiction to this drink means that I must carry it with me to my car, so I can drink and drive. I know, I know, it's illegal to drink and drive. But I can't help it. I told you, I'm addicted!

The problem gets worse when you realise I have another personality flaw - I'm lazy. No, lazy doesn't begin to describe me. Lethargic is probably closer in definition. So more often than not, that half finished drink in my car gets tossed to the back seat, or on the floor of the passenger seat.

I try to hide it before I give people rides, because I don't want them to find out I have a drinking problem. I shove the drinks in my trunk.

Well, recently my husband realised that I really have a serious problem. In a 12 step program he forced me to admit I have a problem. He parked the car, and took all the bottles out and took a photo.










I'm uncertain what the next step of my addiction program would entail. But I can tell you I switched to cans. They're easier to hide under the seat.

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