Back to School

[A long post to "pay" for missing a couple of days this week]

I have mixed feelings now that my class is over and I can breathe again. I took this programming class because I figured I've been cheating by working in the field for 6.5 years without ever having gone through a proper 4 credits computer class in college.

I was really looking forward to taking this class and learning everything in the book. But then reality hit me. We're talking a class in a community college (the one I graduated from ten years ago before heading on to the University) and we're talking summer semester. Two major clues I should have taken to heart before spending every Tuesday and Thursday in class.

When I initially planned on taking a class I got a phone call a couple of days before it was scheduled to begin saying it was cancelled due to low enrollment. So I called the head of the department and asked for special permission to remove the prerequisite for the next class so I don't have to wait a full semester before I am able to proceed to the next level. I explained to the professor that I'm only taking this class for "fun" and I honestly don't need these 4 credits. I think he wanted to get back to his computer game and to get rid of me said, "I'll fax you the waiver."

First day in class was really exciting for me (brings back fond memories of other first day of classes). I left work early, found the new building at the college, got into class, and listened to the conversations among the other 10 young students as they shared experiences from other computer classes they took prior to this. That's when I began panicking as one girl (girl1) started throwing in all kinds of technical terms I had never heard before. I was really worried about my missing prerequisite class. But this worry was soon to be replaced by another worry.

After 30 minutes of waiting for the teacher to arrive, some of us began to get a bit annoyed and started speculating on how long do you give a delinquent professor before you leave the classroom. 31 minutes it was. We got up, went to the administration office and complained. So that was a "fun" first day of class.

The following class the teacher came with the lame excuse of "I didn't know that the class was scheduled to begin on Tuesday." So let me understand this, you didn't read the class schedule like all of us where it said black on white "TUESDAY"? And you didn't get any kind of paperwork from the college identifying our class time? This should have been my first warning about the teacher. But I was willing to give her a second chance.

By the time we got into the second week of class it was becoming clear to me that girl1 was spouting off technical terms out of sheer ignorance and not because she had any clue what those are. So I just shut myself out from paying attention to her every time she tried to show off how much she knows (or doesn't know).

Then there was Pollyanna. Pollyanna was a voluptuous young lady - dressed in shorts of one colour and a couple of tank tops three sizes too short and of complementary colours, plus other colourful accessories one on top of the other as if she was wearing her entire wardrobe every day. Her first day in class was in tune with our teacher's concept of class schedule. So she had no idea we already knew each other from Tuesday. Nor did she care. Every so often she'd pipe up with a question that made me want to bang my head against the table and exclaim, "Do we really have to deal with you for this entire semester???" I don't think I can describe it as low IQ or low intelligence, it's more along the lines of "I'm so $#@$ing cluless, but there's a 10% participation grade so maybe I ought to ask something now?"

By the second week I noticed Pollyanna wasn't showing up to class consistently, which made me assume she was about to drop the class. I wasn't alone in that assumption, and girl1 who used to sit next her, decided to move one chair over to Pollyanna's seat.

Third week - Pollyanna comes in, goes over to girl1 and says, "So you gonna move?" Girl1 turns around from her computer monitor and says, "Excuse me?" and Pollyanna proceeds to say, "You gonna move? You used to sit in the other chair. You're sitting now in mine." Girl1 shakes her head to a point where I fear it'd drop off, picks up her stuff and moves across the room to sit between the boys up front.

Sixth week - girl1 and the boys flanking her are discussing the homework program. Polyanna is already seated in class an hour before class, trying to catch up on homework from the past four weeks (in an 8 week semester). Girl1 has a somewhat annoying laugh, I admit, as it tends to make itself known once every ten minutes, but this one time she was talking to the boy next to her about the homework, when Pollyanna exclaims, "WILL YOU STOP LAUGHING! I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE HERE. YOU'RE SO FUCKING VULGAR! IT'S UNBELIEVABLE"

Ah, well, this is when all hell breaks loose and girl1 will have none of THAT. So girl1 shouts back, "OH NO, YOU DON'T! YOU DO NOT SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY, B*#&@!" I was so looking forward to a girl fight, but it died down rather quickly simply because Pollyanna was in her own world not realising she was just nicknamed.

At this point Pollyanna is working furiously at her computer and then gets up to ask a question from the two guys and girl1 related to what is due. So I'm thinking here, "Let me see if I understand this - you just crossed the lines to hostile environment to ask what is due and you expect them to help???" Amazingly enough, they were all nice and said, "Yes, that was due four weeks ago." Followed by girl1's hysterical laughter. [Keep in mind, we're downgraded one grade for every class our homework assignment is late, so Pollyanna is well into the F's by now].

Finally the teacher comes in (will miracles never cease), and begins class, as Pollyanna is printing, typing and doing everything but taking notes in class. My concentration was down to zero because the printer was right behind me and she kept getting up to get her printout, which meant she was walking in the middle of class right in front of the projector screen once every five minutes. It took quite a bit of effort for me not to tell her to sit the ^&^%* down! [I had a headache and any effort at talking would have made it worse].

Then mid-class out of nowhere, Pollyanna says to the teacher, "Can you please enable Quiz 1 on the computer so I can take it now?" [Quiz 1 was given on week 2]. While the teacher is being super nice and not even commenting on this outrageous request, I had an urgent question related to the program I was working on - so I got up to ask the teacher. While the teacher tries to help me, Pollyanna packs her stuff and leaves the class at 7pm (class is 'til 9pm). When I sit down, the entire class finally lets out the audible burst of laughter. The teacher looks puzzled at everyone and says, "WHAT?" And everyone starts telling her their version of what happened earlier that day (that in itself provided me good entertainment in listening to the various "she said, she said"). The teacher, still rather clueless, says, "Didn't she just ask me to turn on Quiz 1? I just did that for her." That's when we all respond, "Yes, she did. And she's just left for the day."

That's when we all began to speculate - at what point do you realise there's no chance for you to pass this class and you're wasting your parents' money and your own time???

She may have heard us. She never did come back. And according to the teacher she never dropped the class either...

I had never met someone on drugs, but I wouldn't be surprised at all if I found out this girl was seriously drugged every single day. I have no clue what made her think she could take a programming class, let alone pass one. I still have that question about girl1. But I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe in ten years when she's been through enough computer classes she will finally figure it out.

Now, the teacher is probably worthy of a whole new post, but I'll save you from it. In short - it's difficult for me to respect a teacher's knowledge, when I as a student keep correcting her and I don't even know "C"! Not to mention it's tough for me to respect someone who gives 100 on every exercise and homework regardless of the quality or the mistakes in it. I had submitted several unfinished assignments yet got the full grade. Feels like cheating. But like IN claims - I'm the teacher's pet, so therefore the grading on a curve puts me on top.

My husband asked me why I have to mess up the curve for all those poor unsuspecting young students. I told him they'll thank me in ten years. Meanwhile, I'll take my grade and place it in one of those compartments in my brain that says "An A today, keeps Alzheimers away."

Todah la'El hayom yom shishi!

N.B. I can't wait for midnight! Shirt photo and story to follow.