He said, she said

So last night I went out with friends (no spouses or significant others). These friends happen to be one of my bosses, a co-worker and an ex-co-worker. Needless to point out that the common factor between us - the company where I work.

A couple of drinks into our dinner and we're all heavily into company gossip. Professional gossip, not personal.

My culture and religion considers gossiping as a very serious offense. And in spite of not being religious, I always feel really bad after engaging in some heavy gossiping. I know it's one of my biggest faults, and I often hate myself for falling into that trap. It's a great feeling while I'm engaging in this unheard of behaviour, but it really sucks after. Sort of like indulging in a nice large meal or a "few" drinks. Makes you feel great while you eat and drink, but the following day you feel like crap.

When I took Anthropology 101 the teacher "took" us around the world in investigation of how cultures see gossiping. In fact, one particular African tribe considers it impolite if you do not engage in gossiping when social interaction expects you to do so. I was fascinated by the example she gave (wish I could recall it in detail and do it justice, but I don't recall it). After taking that class I started evaluating this concept a bit deeper. Then by some odd coincidence I overheard the neighbourhood kids underneath my window talking to each other. It was the type of conversation of "he said, she said." What I gathered from that conversation was that some of these kids had just confirmed that another kid from their school is a liar and is doing things that they all agreed upon are wrong. So I was sitting there thinking, if these kids did not gossip, they would have never found out what is considered socially acceptable by the majority of their peers. They would have never learned what type of behaviour is considered good or bad. Sure, we should rely on parents to teach this, but let's be honest - did we learn which kids are bad or good through our parents or through gossiping with friends?! Do we not still seek approval from the majority of our peers to determine what is wrong or right? And how can we do this without gossiping and providing examples?

So since then I no longer feel too guilty about engaging in gossip, though I do feel bad that it has to come to it.

Well, last night I recharged my batteries with quite a bit of gossip that should sustain me for a short while. This is the type of gossip that I need in order to survive the corporate world. The type of gossip that clues me in on the world of my managers, so I know what's going on in the internal politics of the company where I work.

My company is a victim of a social research that investigates the question "can we run this company with as little information sharing as possible?" This research was heavily funded, and my company has yet to reach a conclusion. Of course, they could have asked us for the answers, but that'd mean we'd have to share information and that's defeating the purpose. Confusion and disseminating wrong information is the company's motto. The reason for it - the more people I need to turn to for answers, the more their positions and employment with the company are justified. Why give one person all the information and power, when we can employ ten people who each know only their little part in corporate America and no one knows what the other is doing at any given time. Makes sense when you think of it from a financial point of view. I think. But what do I know?!

So in the meantime, I gather my information through gossip. I've managed to work the path of information fairly well from top to bottom (me being at the bottom). My problem has been disseminating information back to the top. I have so much I want to share with the top and tell them what's going on at the bottom. But the top doesn't seem interested, which is a real shame.

One day when I run my own company, I'll make sure that there are two avenues of communication. Managers evaluate employees, and employees evaluate their managers! Because dog only knows how this one particular manager kept his position when everyone I've talked to told me that they didn't like his managing style either!

So through the gossip lines I've found out that I'm being used for case studies at managers' training, which is cool, but I wish they'd ask me directly. Boy, I can give them SO many case studies from real life on how to improve our company. Heck, I could write a book about it. All those management books written by CEO's? What do they know?! When was the last time they were disgruntled employees?! You want a book on managing your people, ask your people to write it! Let us tell you what you're doing wrong, and what you're doing right.

Or as my boss explained it very nicely with a circular diagram:
Clients pay our company to do the job --> company management takes care of its employees --> employees are happy --> employees take care of their clients --> more work for our company.
Very simple concept. Very noble idea. Take care of your employees. Give them all the information you have. Stop treating them like little kids who can't be trusted. We can move this company light years ahead, if you just give us the tools!

Yeah, I still feel kinda bad for gossiping, and I should be particularly ashamed because I don't have the excuse of "I was drunk." But until they find me a Gossipus Anonymous group, I don't think I can rid of this addiction.

ADDENDUM: I have to post now because I feel an urge to gossip. So my husband made it to the National news! I feel so famous now. No, he's not the BTK killer, may he rot in hell. No, my husband made it to the news by default of his work. Last night when I went out, he called me a couple of minutes after I got to my destination and told me he was called back to work on an emergency. This is the second night this week that I'm spending alone, because of a "work emergency" (in addition to him being gone for 3 days last weekend on Camp Jeep and leaving today for the weekend on another Jeep thing). So I'm thinking about - what's her name? what's she like? Is she tall? Is she younger? Then he got back home and told me that he doesn't need to explain to me where he's been, it'll be on the news. Sure enough, it's all over the news! My husband fights worms. He lost a battle this week against some morons at work. The results of this loss - they got their ass kicked, and thousands of travelers got stranded as a result. All because some stupid asshole working for department-of-you-know-what hooked up his wormy laptop to the network. There goes the neighbourhood!

I feel an obligation towards my mentor, CS, who is now happily retired - HAPPY FRIDAY!

Toda la'el hayom yom shishi!