I'm better off angry
So there's this research that proves that an angry reaction is healthier for stressful situations. Now I get it, all this time I've been using the wrong reactions in life. No wonder I'm so sick. How come they don't teach you these things at school? For years I've been raised to believe "angry" is not nice. It's not feminine. It's not friendly. It's not good. Now I have to unlearn everything and get friendly with the angry side in me.
So the dilemma is how do I become an angry person without being judged by society that I'm an effin b*tch? Do I wear a sweatshirt that says, "I'm angry because it's my new health diet"? Or a pin that says, "I'm not angry at you, I'm angry with you." Should I gather my friends and family and introduce to them the new me - "Hi, I'm the new and improved version. And if you have a problem with it, screw you!"
I once visited a psychologist (depression caused by steroids) who asked me why I never express anger verbally towards people who make me angry. I never really processed this tidbit of information. I can get angry. Very angry. I scream and shout when I get angry. Sometimes I get into a rage that causes me temporary paralysis and debilitating spasms along the spine that prevent me from breathing. After going through these raging moments a handful of times in my life I've determined that anger is not worth this pain. There are only five people on earth who've experienced my anger. My parents, my brother, my husband and a friend. I don't mind it if they see me angry. They ought to know me well enough not to judge me by one instance of anger. They should know me well enough to accept me for who I am.
I'm not very proud of myself when I get angry. It's embarrassing. It's shameful. It's wrong. Men use swearing and cursing to express their anger. I learned to curse only recently. In fact, I've started swearing out loud as recent as when I started writing this blog. I still feel very uncomfortable when I do. I'd rather come up with some quick long and witty response than a short curse. Thing is, when I'm angry my brain freezes and nothing gets processed. There's a complete disconnect between thought and verbal expression when I get angry. The little triggers in my brain, make a switch and it goes directly to my stomach, overpassing my mouth.
Don't get me wrong - I can rant and vent like the best of them. But rants and vents require a long processing before it comes out. Anger is an immediate reaction. One I cannot seem to verbalise. One that I wish I knew how to redirect from keeping it in to actually telling it right to someone's face: "You make me angry. Drop it!"
I think tomorrow I'm going to get a chance of practicing healthy living, and get angry. I have an appointment with a surgeon. I've been warned about the surgeon and his assistant. So I'm going to wear my bracelet in pride and show that I GOT GUTS!
And dammit, I'm going to get angry. And if anyone dares ask me why I'm so angry, I'll tell them to shut up and deal with it.
Anyone got some advice to the beginner angry person? Should I wear something special? Do I need to unlearn the smile? Any accessories? Am I doing the right thing?
So the dilemma is how do I become an angry person without being judged by society that I'm an effin b*tch? Do I wear a sweatshirt that says, "I'm angry because it's my new health diet"? Or a pin that says, "I'm not angry at you, I'm angry with you." Should I gather my friends and family and introduce to them the new me - "Hi, I'm the new and improved version. And if you have a problem with it, screw you!"
I once visited a psychologist (depression caused by steroids) who asked me why I never express anger verbally towards people who make me angry. I never really processed this tidbit of information. I can get angry. Very angry. I scream and shout when I get angry. Sometimes I get into a rage that causes me temporary paralysis and debilitating spasms along the spine that prevent me from breathing. After going through these raging moments a handful of times in my life I've determined that anger is not worth this pain. There are only five people on earth who've experienced my anger. My parents, my brother, my husband and a friend. I don't mind it if they see me angry. They ought to know me well enough not to judge me by one instance of anger. They should know me well enough to accept me for who I am.
I'm not very proud of myself when I get angry. It's embarrassing. It's shameful. It's wrong. Men use swearing and cursing to express their anger. I learned to curse only recently. In fact, I've started swearing out loud as recent as when I started writing this blog. I still feel very uncomfortable when I do. I'd rather come up with some quick long and witty response than a short curse. Thing is, when I'm angry my brain freezes and nothing gets processed. There's a complete disconnect between thought and verbal expression when I get angry. The little triggers in my brain, make a switch and it goes directly to my stomach, overpassing my mouth.
Don't get me wrong - I can rant and vent like the best of them. But rants and vents require a long processing before it comes out. Anger is an immediate reaction. One I cannot seem to verbalise. One that I wish I knew how to redirect from keeping it in to actually telling it right to someone's face: "You make me angry. Drop it!"
I think tomorrow I'm going to get a chance of practicing healthy living, and get angry. I have an appointment with a surgeon. I've been warned about the surgeon and his assistant. So I'm going to wear my bracelet in pride and show that I GOT GUTS!
And dammit, I'm going to get angry. And if anyone dares ask me why I'm so angry, I'll tell them to shut up and deal with it.Anyone got some advice to the beginner angry person? Should I wear something special? Do I need to unlearn the smile? Any accessories? Am I doing the right thing?
posted at
11/16/2005 08:31:00 PM
3 Comments:
So there's this research that proves that an angry reaction is healthier for stressful situations. Now I get it, all this time I've been using the wrong reactions in life. No wonder I'm so sick. How come they don't teach you these things at school? For years I've been raised to believe "angry" is not nice. It's not feminine. It's not friendly. It's not good. Now I have to unlearn everything and get friendly with the angry side in me.
Anger if used correctly is a good thing. What I do is go from martial arts gym to gym until I find one where the guys are rugged and train heavy, with hard contact. I'm a very angry person, and there's nothing better than letting that anger out in a healthy way.
You don't have to do this, but it's a suggestion. Channel your anger in a good way.
By
The Zombieslayer, at 11:52 PM, November 16, 2005
All I know till now is that my pyschiatry professors tell me that bottling up feelings is not good for health. We have to let them out and move on. For example, God Forbid someone close to someone dies, then it's better to cry and let out the grief and move on, rather than keeping the feelings inside and then having a breakdown.(and it's easier said than done unfortunately) Though, I don't recommend u going on an anger-spree....but it's a good idea to let people know how u feel rather than keeping quiet.
By
Aftab Iqbal, at 7:38 AM, November 17, 2005
I believe the best thing you can do with bottled up anger, and not get yourself beaten to a pulp in the process, is to find someone who understands your problem and doesn't mind when you vent. In fact, it is better for you to have someone vent right back at you. Repressing anger is not a good thing, and leads to all kinds of stress related problems. It HAS to come out or it will eat your liver. Just don't give a hoot what other people say about being unladylike or unfeminine. Try telling that to a lady tiger defending her cubs. Having a blog like this is a help, but it isn't the whole answer.
MM
By
Anonymous, at 12:16 PM, November 17, 2005
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