Wonders of Medicine

I had enough with my husband sneezing, coughing and being overall cranky every year during spring, and decided to set an appointment for him with an allergist. The lady on the phone explained to me he's not to take anti-histamines 'til he sees the doctor (four days away). So I emailed him with the day, time, place and directions. But since he doesn't read my emails, or reads them partially, he only read the day and time. Never read the directions. He took an anti-histamine the day before the appointment. Mid-day I said to him, "You didn't take any pills did you?" Of course he said, "why?" I pointed out to him that there was more to that email.

Didn't really matter. He went to the doctor. Doctor stuck him with seven bricks of tests on his back (each brick contains eight needles with different allergens). Then he was instructed to sit still for 20 minutes. A week later my husband still has a nice pattern of mosquito bites all over his back. Turns out he's allergic to pretty much everything under the shining sun except very few critical living things: rabbits, horses, dogs and wife. Oh, and he can tolerate dust and mites - thank dog, because I'm getting a divorce if he starts demanding that I dust the house daily.

Finally I have a normal husband back in my life. No sneezing, coughing, or crankiness.

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I signed up for a summer camp. Never been to a summer camp before. My Polish mom was too worried about my health to send me to a summer camp. So I figured I should do it before I turn 40. I received the paperwork yesterday. Background check, medical forms, consent forms. You name it. And all this for five days of a camp. But what really frustrates me is the portion on the forms that ask about my immunization record.

Oh blimey, I'm supposed to know what DTaP/DT/Tdap, IPV/OPV, MMR, PCV, HIB is??? Okay, I managed to figure out TB thanks to CNN mentioning it every five minutes this week. But I haven't the faintest what the others translate to in Hebrew!!! I have my Hebrew book of vaccinations which has been filled up since I was born, but I'll be darned if I know the translation to these diseases.

I'm going to attempt to do a free translation from the Hebrew word to the English, and see if anyone can guess the medical word for it:
Ava'abu'ot - Big Bubbles
Shitook Yeladim - Quietening children
Karemet - illness of the cream
Tzafedet - illness of the frog
Sha'elet - illness of the cough
Chatzevet - illness of the Maritime squill
Ademet - redness illness

So yes, I've been vaccinated for all the above, and I'll never be a bubbly, creamy, froggy, coughing, red Maritime Squill (the quiet children never worked on me as you can see). But I'll be darned if anyone cares if I were all these things.