Opposites attract

This post is dedicated to Julie, my American best friend. Everyone needs a Julie in their life. Someone who's blunt, honest, busy, funny, intelligent, witty, opinionated (in a good way!), helpful, and has her priorities set straight.

We met 12 years ago. In class. Then, in many other classes at the community college, as we were pursuing a degree in Architecture. On the surface we had nothing in common. Ten years apart. She - with 2 kids, me with none. She had already held several jobs, me - none. We were culturally and religiously far apart. About the only time we found anything in common is when we discussed architecture. We felt passionate about the profession and education. As highly opinionated individuals, we discussed it for hours. I don't even recall if we agreed on anything. I do know that when time came to render our drawings - there she was freehanding three trees in a minute, while I was sitting and drawing meticulously a leaf on a tree. Yup, we had nothing in common. She'd come to my drafting table and look amazed at how much time I've wasted on one leaf, and I'd come over her table observing at awe how little detail she used for her trees.

Then a year into our studies, she announced to class that she was pregnant - due at the end of the semester. D. was born in January, between semesters. A week later, me being rather naiive about the parenting world and knowing how much Julie loved studying architecture, I came knocking on her door with the class catalogue for the following semester. "You're going to register for classes, right?" She laughed so hard I thought she was about to throw me out of her house. Instead, she grabbed her baby, and off we went to college to register for classes. Needless to say I paid dearly for this encouragement. She ended up leaving her baby with me in studio, as she ran off to register. Here I was, no experience with babies, and she tells me to hold the baby when she cries. I just stood there watching this tiny creature and waiting to see what happens, when she started "talking." So figuring this is the "marker-inhaling" baby, I launched into a thesis on Architectural design that would have knocked the socks off any baby! Her baby stopped babbling and listened. When Julie was back she found me mid-thesis and ...well the rest is history - and this story is often repeated in family gatherings. Her "baby" is now ten years old. She's the Harry Potter fan I took to Barnes and Noble when the last book came out in June. I'd adopt Julie's kids in a moment, and I've tried to steal them several times. But for some strange reason these kids keep wanting to go back. Go figure.

In out last class together we were to be teamed up for a design project. Someone challenged our professor about the logic of teaming up. Our professor responded with a laugh and says, "Well, of course it won't make sense to put two opposites like these two together!" as he was pointing to Julie & I. At the end of class, we both thought it was really funny that everyone else thought we were opposites and here we were becoming best friends.

Julie, her husband, and her three kids became our best friends. Julie was our real estate agent, and found us the house we live in now. It was two streets away from their house. We spent many evenings together and all Jewish holidays. Her children know more about Judaism than any other Catholic kid in their church. Julie's family is my family away from home. A family that everyone is proud of and wants to spend time with.

A few years ago they moved from their house to provide a better place for their daughters to grow up. They moved across a toll bridge, 40 minutes away from us. Our friendship remains as close. There's just nothing that can stand in the way of our friendship, and distance means nothing. Not in a friendship like this.

This Monday evening, our annual tradition of welcoming the new Jewish Year together will change places. Instead of dinner at my house, Julie's house will be hosting. Nothing will interrupt our traditional dinner. So if this holiday has to fall on a school night, we will rearrange it, so the girls will be in bed on time. Because Julie has her priorities straight. And kids come first in her family. A value that every family ought to learn from her.

I know one thing for sure - when I have kids, I'll be calling Julie daily for advice. Her kids are proof to good parenting. I don't care if she is a slacker when it comes to drawing trees. She sure can raise kids!

Julie, one day I hope to be as good a mother as you are, my dear friend. May you and your family have a SWEET NEW YEAR !