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Hybrid Thoughts

12/27/2007

Happy New Year!


I have ten new drawings from my dad, and now I'm seriously behind on my blog. I feel like such a disappointment to all my 4.5 readers. Wish I could make it up to you guys. I'm not even good at responding to comments. But be assured - first thing I do when I get home from work is check out the comments on my blog. It always makes me smile to get them. And then I immediately cringe and feel awful for never leaving comments on everyone else's blogs.

Thing is, I do check everyone's blogs and would have loved to comment on all of them, but because this blog is under one account, and my regular gmail is under a different account, I can't seem to keep two windows open with different accounts, and it sucks! That's also the reason I don't post as much. I prefer to have my regular gmail account on the screen all evening, and in order to blog I have to log out and login to a different account.

Confused? Bored?

Yeah, I know how you feel.

So the concert we went to was absolutely FANTASTIC! I would LOVE to see it again. It was well worth everything (particularly going to bed at midnight and waking up at 5am for work the following day).

I've been taking a lot of photos, saving links, sending emails to myself with the intention of posting them on this blog. Somehow it never happens. Of course, it'd make sense if I emailed the CORRECT account when I try to remind myself what to post. But apparently, I'm not that smart when I'm at work.

I think work is draining my last brain cells.
But I was thrilled to find out that I'm not the only victim of this phenomena.

I invited a coworkers to join my family-in-law's celebration of Christmas. He did drop by but didn't stay because his daughter wasn't feeling well. Today I saw him and decided to grab a quick lunch with him. We sat and talked for 20 minutes about Israel, being Jewish etc. As I walked him to the elevator, he was silent for a few seconds and then turned and asked, "is your husband Jewish?" I just busted out laughing, "Ummm...I just invited you for Christmas at my mother-in-law's remember?"
I think it's the building where I work. I'm sure there's this sick building syndrome in this old structure.

Speaking of which...I have to tell you why the city of D.C. would be much safer if they banned me from ever entering it. As you all already know I work for the client who must not be named. So no search engine ever finds this blog.

Well one day as I stayed late at work, a coworker who left only 15 minutes earlier, called me from his cellphone. Now, this guy never calls me, so needless to say I was a bit hesitant to answer the phone. But I did. He proceeded to tell me that as he was walking out the building he smelled a very strong smell of something burning from a room on the first floor, but he couldn't open the door to check it out.

Well, with me being rather resourceful I found the little printed card left on my table by my other coworker who has had enough of me complaining that it's cold and urged me to call Building Management MYSELF if I ever have any complaints. So I took the card, read it carefully to make sure it was the appropriate call to make. And picked up the phone.

Ok, maybe I didn't read it very carefully. Maybe I just skimmed it. But I swear it had the building's name at the top, and I guarantee you it was the building I was sitting in.

The phone conversation went like this:
Guy who answered my phone (GWAMP): H0m3l@nd Security, may I help you?
Mybrid: Hi, a coworker called me and said there's a burning smell on the first floor, can you please send someone to check it because the room was locked?
GWAMP: Your name?
Mybrid: [full name given]
GWAMP: Where are you?
Mybrid: Right here.
GWAMP: Which State?
Mybrid (thinking to herself "ummm...you're kidding me???"): DC!
GWAMP: Where in DC?
Mybrid ("am I on candid camera?"): It's this building right in the center of DC.
GWAMP: Okay, let me send a dispatch over.
I hang up, thinking to myself - "what have I done???"

Not more than a minute later I hear sirens all around the building, and my coworker calls me and says, "well? did you call?" - I just about took his head off and told him those damn sirens in the background are HIS damn fault! But he didn't hear nor see anything, so he thought I was kidding him and hung up.

Two minutes later (mind you this is 6:30pm now), my phone rings:

GWAMP: "Ma'am, who do you work for?"
Mybrid: "client who must not be named."
GWAMP: "You don't work for the security force in the building, do you?"
Mybrid: "no sir, I just work here."
GWAMP: "Well, because 99.9% of the calls we get at this hour are from security personnel, and since we thought the situation was not under control by the building's security force, I dispatched the city's fire trucks."
Mybrid: "ummm...thank you (?!?!)" [gulp]
GWAMP: "You're welcome."

At this point, I put on my coat, put my hat one, put on my gloves, took the elevator to the exit door, covered my mouth and eyes with my hands, and rapidly made an exit through the fire trucks blocking my exit from the building. The nice fancy h0m3l@nd security emergency car was parked diagonally in the corner of the street, as I passed it by, doing my best to reflect the image of "you don't know me, you've never heard my name, I have nothing to do with blocking traffic in the city the day before Thanksgiving, and I don't even work here!"

I only inconvenienced 20 firemen I believe. Possibly a few more paperwork pushers who'd have to explain how they didn't process my call through the right channels. Thankfully, by the time I got out of the parking garage everyone left. All evidence of my wrong doing was out of sight. This may have never happened. Maybe I just dreamt it? One thing I know for sure, security at h0m3l@nd would be MUCH better off without me around making frivolous phone calls.

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9 Comments:

  • Thanks freakin' hilarious. I guess you did the right thing, when in doubt, call in the authorities !

    You should send the local firehouse a box of chocolates or something festive to show your appreciation for the fire drill you caused.

    You can now say to your friends that you're "so hot, you can attract 20 firemen" at your beaconing call.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:31 PM, December 27, 2007  

  • I can't help it - I just laughed my butt off picturing the aftermath of your call and imagining the look on your face!

    By Blogger Chickie, at 12:06 AM, December 28, 2007  

  • I see deportation in your future. Your name is probably on every list the government has.

    Happy New Year to you too Mybrid.

    By Blogger Mike, at 7:17 AM, December 28, 2007  

  • Ah, so you were responsible for that Breaking News Flas! on CNN a few days ago... I suspected as much.

    You know, I wouldn't worry as much about the blog- don't take the fun out by fretting. You do what you've time to do, and obviously we all keep checkin' in, so rest easy and, um, be sure to raise your scarf to hide your face when walking past the fire station.

    By Blogger Forrest Proper, at 8:51 AM, December 28, 2007  

  • BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's rich!

    I'd like to *inconvenience* a few firemen!

    By Blogger Sara Sue, at 11:32 AM, December 28, 2007  

  • So THAT's what happened! Naughty lady!

    By Blogger here today, gone tomorrow, at 9:05 AM, December 29, 2007  

  • Mybrid, a very happy New Year to you. Uh, can we call you Miss Excitement?

    By Blogger Catalyst, at 8:38 PM, December 29, 2007  

  • Anon, I can't wait to tell my friends I'm so hot. Wow, I think the last time I said that was in Petra, Jordan in 110 farenheit.

    Chickie, it's all funny, until someone takes an eye out!

    Mike, my name is already on every government list imaginable, considering I'm one of the highest threat to homeland with my dual citizenship.

    Colonel, I need to purchase a scarf. I need to find one that says: "Witness Protection Program."

    Sara Sue, Let me know when you're planning this, so I can watch from the side.

    HTGT, naughty is indeed one of the ways my friends would define me. Crazy little Jewish woman, is the other definition.

    By Blogger Mybrid, at 8:44 PM, December 29, 2007  

  • Just wanted to come by again and wish you a very Happy New Year!

    By Blogger here today, gone tomorrow, at 8:44 AM, January 01, 2008  

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