Parking in DC

I don't have an excuse for not writing every day. I'm just debating every day what to write about, because so much is happening that my mind is in a mess. So I end up sitting at the end of the day just vegging out and trying to process the thoughts in my head and put everything into order.

I'll start with a rant, because this really ticked me off. I got a parking ticket in the mail a month ago when I had the flu. The parking ticket ominously told me I was over 30 days late on paying a parking ticket on 2/1/07. Needless to say I was absolutely stunned that I was 30 days late on anything but my period. But since I was down with the flu I could only muster enough energy to cry and feel like shooting myself. My husband tried to dissuade me from killing myself by saying it's easier to pay the $50 ($25 + the late fee). But that's not the reason I cried. I cried because I never GOT the first ticket AND the parking meter was NOT expired. And it's my freaking word against a stupid ass traffic cop who decided to make some extra money for the DC government. It's totally wrong that I go through life trying to be the most law abiding person there is. I do everything by the book. I refuse to do anything illegal even when my peers mock me for it. I refuse to copy software programs and I always buy original CD's and software licenses. And then comes along someone who represents the law and pins ME - of all people, this cop finds ME???? What the FUCK! Let me point to you who you should hassle every day. Let me show you where to concentrate your law enforcement efforts.

After I was convinced that killing myself will not make this cop change his method, nor will it make my dog happy - I decided to do the next honorable thing. I went to court to contest it. It's not about the money. It's about the principal. I did nothing wrong and I didn't see a reason I should pay for doing nothing wrong!

Yes, I took a day off work, took the METRO for the first time from the station near my house, figured out how to get to the DC courthouse (and boy was that confusing with the multiple entrances and clueless cops), waited in line, only to fight a $50 ticket (ironically, if I had waited one more day, I would have found in the mail the ticket with another late fee totalling a $55 ticket!).

I sat across the judge with three other criminals like me. Two of them - I swear to dog, I have no idea how they even had the mental capacity to figure out where the DC court was LOCATED! These men sat across from the judge as she asked them simple questions about their parking tickets (ten tickets between the two of them). I honestly wish I could repeat the entire case here, but I could not for the life of me even understand what they were uttering in their version of English. All I know is that after two minutes of "was this your car? is this car registered under your new address? why didn't you pay the ticket?" they responded with "I didn't know I had to register my car when moving" and that about closed their case against them. Ask me if I would have known to register my car if I moved from Washington DC to Washington DC - heck no! Com'n, where am I supposed to find this out?

But I digress. By the time my turn is up, the judge is not in her bestest moods. I took the oath, I swore to secrecy, I promised my mommy's life if I lied. Did the judge even CARE??? HECK NO!

So here's what happened. I attended a farewell luncheon in DC for a coworker. This luncheon was planned and scheduled via 5 emails, a calendar invite and phone calls. In order to attend it I had to drive my car from a location 20 minutes away, with another coworker. I parked across from the restaurant next to a parking meter. Bear in mind, this isn't the first time in my 20 years of driving that I parked next to a meter. I've grown up in a city, I lived in a city, I'm a city girl. I know how to use a meter. My coworker and I had very limited time for this luncheon. Less than 2 hours. So we put enough money in the meter for 2 hours. Plenty to cover the time at the restaurant. Keep in mind that between my coworker and I there are four college degrees - so we're not idiots. We had lunch, which was less than 2 hours long. We left. We got to my car, we had a few minutes left on the parking meter - my coworker sighed a sigh of relief because he's the type of person who would have felt REALLY bad if I had gotten a ticket while giving him a favour of a ride. Not only that, but he would have offered to pay the ticket if there was one, because he feels he owes me his life (I helped him with his career). Had I gotten a ticket for $25 I would have been pissed and paid it off right away, or at the latest - end of the month, when I pay the bills.

I came in front of the judge with a letter from my coworker explaining this exact story and confirming my side. First thing the judge says: "This letter should have been notarized. I cannot accept this as evidence." WTF! When I called the number on the ticket and asked how to contest it, no one mentioned that evidence must be freaking notarized! Then the judge didn't believe me that I was at the restaurant less than two hours, in spite of me explaining to her that it takes me 20 minutes to drive from work to DC and back, and I was gone only two and a half hours from work overall. Then she didn't believe me that when I got the letter in the mail I actually remembered what I did on 2/1/07 at 2pm, regardless of me trying to explain to her that it was on my Outlook calendar because I don't frequent DC at lunchtime that often and I NEVER take 2 hour lunch breaks without it being on my calendar because my boss needs to know where I am. Then she didn't believe me that I actually LOOKED at the meter when I got back to the car and saw that it wasn't expired (ok, what the hell??? Doesn't EVERYONE check the meter to make sure there is time left, just so they can say 'phew, I made it!'? Am I such a freak???). Then she didn't believe me I had a dozen witnesses who saw me get into the car and if I DID have a ticket on my car they would have made fun of me and I would have been embarrassed as hell, because everyone KNOWS how much of a law abiding person I am (yeah, I'm so anal that I track my time at work to the 15 minute accuracy, and if I surf the Internet 15 minutes I add on 15 minutes to the end of the day before leaving work). THEN...she didn't believe me I read the right parking meter! Whoa, lady, are you seriously comparing me to the two cerebrally challenged people who sat here before me?!

This ended up with the judge ruling $25 ticket remains. She gave me the benefit of the doubt about not getting the first ticket on the windshield of my car. And she decided to accept the letter, even though it wasn't notarized because I guess she realised it was ridiculous that no where on the DMV website or on the phone did anyone TELL me it was supposed to be notarized. MORONS!

So to the idiot DC cop who decided he should pick on a Hybrid car with a Maryland license plate - I hope a Maryland cop tickets you for speeding and arrests you for being an asshole.

To the potentially retarded kid who decided to remove the ticket from my windshield just to see how much fun it would be for me to have thoughts of killing myself - I hope one day you'll have kids who end up in jail.

To the asshole judge who wouldn't believe a law abiding citizen who TOOK THE OATH, I hope you'll continue to question every person who tells you the truth, to a point of becoming paranoid, schizophrenic and hospitalized in an insanity asylum.

Because I AM a law abiding citizen, and it blows when the judicial system sucks so much that instead of keeping me safe from the criminals, they pursue the innocent.


Yeah, this rant is a better option over killing myself. But damnit I so wanted to die just so the headlines would say, "DC cop causes death of an innocent law abiding citizen. DC cops apparently have solved all crimes in the Nation's Capitol and have nothing better to do." Or something like it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISRAEL!

HAPPY 59th BIRTHDAY, ISRAEL!

Yes, they are all Israelis. Bar Rafaeli, Natalie Portman, Esti Mamo

My Blog's Haiku

Haiku2 for mybrid
it started out by me asking for too much to ask price per inch
@ aboutmylife.netadvogato.orgblogger.comblogs.gnome.orgblogspot.comdeadjournal.comgreatestjournal.cominsanejournal.comlivejournal.commyspace.comspaces.msn.com
Created by Grahame

Virginia Tech Family - My thoughts are with you

I have a lot of friends who are graduates of Virginia Tech, and wanted to express my saddness at this tragedy that brought their university to the international attention for all the wrong reasons.

Each and every graduate I know from this university is the most caring, loving, smart, intelligent, super friendly, fantastic person on earth. I hope that this tragic event will not reflect on the Virginia Tech family for something they could have not controlled or prevented.

Tomorrow I'll be wearing Orange and Maroon to express my solidarity with my friends. To learn about the Orange and Maroon Effect Day - April 20th, 2007, click here.

The Holocaust and The Hope (HaTikva)

A few months ago I recounted my father's history as a Holocaust survivor.

A couple of hours ago Israel began its commemoration of Holocaust Memorial Day in a ceremony at Yad VaShem. I was able to watch it for the first time from beginning 'til end, thanks to the wonders of the internet. I could never watch it in Israel. My parents turned the TV off and didn't let me watch it. Or maybe THEY didn't want to watch it? Or maybe they didn't want me to ask them any questions?

My mother's story as a Holocaust survivor is far more painful than my father's. When she was 5 years old her parents received warning that the Nazis are on their way to gather all the Jews for deportation. Her parents escaped through the forest, but as it turned out they weren't safe there either. At a certain point my mother's mother and her father made the decision to split in order to give one of them a better chance at surviving. My mother's father grabbed my mother and ran to hide behind one bush, as my mother's mother hid behind another bush. The Nazis found my mother's mother and shot her point blank. My mother saw her mother killed by the Nazis.

Her father took her to his sister and asked her to raise his daughter. She ended up adopting her officially. The "grandmother" I knew all these years was actually her aunt. I didn't find this out until I was in my 20's. No one wanted to tell me what happened to my real grandmother.

My mother didn't lose just her mother to the Nazis senseless killing. She had lost more than 20 family members: aunts, uncles, cousins. Adults and children. All of them perished at Auschwitz. Only three cousins survived: My mother, her cousin in DC, and her cousin in Australia. My mother and the cousin in Australia refused to ever talk about the Holocaust. Their third cousin who lived in Philadelphia dedicated her entire life to the memory of the Holocaust and gave speeches and interviewed survivors for the Shoa Foundation.

Tomy Lapid, a Holocaust survivor and a Kneset member spoke at the ceremony this evening at Yad VaShem. He said some very strong words about the world's silence at yet another holocaust in Darfur. If anyone thinks the Holocaust is in our history and there's nothing we can do to bring the dead, then think again. You can prevent more senseless deaths. Mr. Lapid also said we are all Holocaust survivors and it's our duty to live in our country and defend it so another Shoah against the Jewish people does not happen again. It is part of our being, part of our national hope. Part of our lives - to yearn to live and give meaning to the senseless deaths during the Holocaust.

People who hear our national anthem for the first time notice a distinct difference between the victorious melodies of so many anthems from around the world, and the sad and hopeful tune of the Israeli anthem. Our anthem is not one of victory, but rather the story of our hope. Our hope of living in Israel as a free nation with our hearts and minds in Jerusalem.

I bring you here several versions of our National Anthem - Hatikva - The Hope.

Enrique Macias singing HaTikva (no video, just the song)

Barbara Streisend talking to Golda Meir

Good luck or bad luck?

I owe an update on my never-ending saga of quitting my job and finding a new job. The new client saw my resume and decided they want me real bad. That's really nice, but this isn't as simple as just putting in my 30 day notice and moving over to another client. No, everything in my life this year has to be complicated. It's either that or I don't satisfy the ratio of complications versus piece-of-cake events per year.

The client is a government agency (my favourite type of job-security). Before I start working for a government client there are some basic requirements:

• Fingerprinting
• Security paperwork must be filled in
• Someone must leave or die
• Or alternatively - additional funding is provided from the government to employ more people

Once the above criteria is fullfilled, then I can put in my 30 day notice. At this point, the above criteria stands at 2 weeks + 4 weeks + the period it takes for a friend of mine to find a new job and quit, or the period it takes for someone else to be struck with a heart attack resulting from the stress at work and die + the period it takes for the funding agency to sign the contract with my future employer (this has been known to drag for weeks and months on some contracts).

So some of you would blame me for not starting the process sooner, but that's where you're all wrong. I started the process of trying to quit back in DECEMBER!!! It's just that the current client screwed me over with the sudden development over the bad interview experience.

In the meantime, in some very bizzare turn of events - my immediate boss went on vacation, and his boss decided to change a proposal he was working on while he was on vacation. So his boss put me on a proposal in a dream position (the position I've been begging to be in for 2 years!). That's all wonderful, except that the government client who is in the committee to elect the winning proposals, knows me. Not only does she know me, but she met me at a private party a couple of months ago. Not only has she met me, but she already KNOWS I plan to quit my company. I can't wait to hear the selection results.

So while I wait for the government to process paperwork and money, I may have the great opportunity of actually doing what I wanted to do for the past couple of years.

Meanwhile, the fingerprinting appointment that was scheduled for next week has been moved up. Twice. In another strange turn of events, I'm scheduled on Friday the 13th. Needless to point out that this is a bad omen for some believers. But as my luck would have it, my mom told me that it's a good luck sign for Jews. The question now is whether my beginning of the process of hiring is going to be bad luck for some other non-suspecting Christian in the agency where I'll work?

As luck would have it, Friday the 13th is also the day my boss has decided to introduce me to his boss and bring him over for lunch to my place of work. Somehow, with some major lies I'm supposed to attend the lunch, and then get on the same train with them heading into downtown DC, get off a couple of stations before them, and explain where on earth I'm going mid-day when I should be back at work!

It's going to be an interesting day tomorrow. I can't wait!

The Elevator Ride

A month ago, there was a news item in the Israeli online news website I follow. Typically this has very serious news. This time it had me laughing for quite a while.

Here's the story from Ha'arets:

Eli Yishai removed from T.A. elevator after stuck for 45 minutes
By Ruth Sinai, Haaretz Correspondent

Trade Minister Eli Yishai and three Shas MKs were stuck Thursday for 45 minutes in an elevator that fell three stories in a Tel Aviv office building.Yishai, whose office is responsible, among other things, for security and inspection of elevators in Israel, ordered a probe of the
malfunction. He is expected to receive the preliminary findings as early as Thursday night.The building where Yishai and MKs Nissim Ze'ev, David Azoulay and Ya'akov Margi were stuck houses the Tel Aviv branches of Trade Ministry offices. The lawmakers were in the building meeting with authority heads.

While they were stuck in the elevator, MK Ze'ev fell ill and
fainted. Firefighters, police and an ambulance arrived at the scene and
removed the lawmakers from the elevator after 45 minutes. In the end, nobody present was injured.

Ok, so no one sees anything very funny about this almost tragic event, right? In the Hebrew version, the one who fainted complained there was very little oxygen in the elevator. Still, no one finds this funny, right?

Maybe I should add at this point that the Kneset Members who were caught in the elevator all belong to one radically Ultra Orthodox party in our government. You won't find a secular person who likes this party. They do not believe in serving in our military. They suck our taxes that pay for their studying for a lifetime. This party is based on racism. They are comprised of

Sepharadi Jews and they've never been too friendly to the Ashkenazi Jews (moi).


I bring to you the Hebrew comments that followed this news item:

• Everything is from above.
• Oh, how unfortunate. With some luck this could have ended with an entire new group of Kneset Members. It's a pity the elevator stopped only after six floors. Where's the "supervision from above" [the Hebrew term for God] when we need it?
• Does Tel-Aviv not have a building with 40 floors?
• Someone should check their mezuzah and screws! [typical remark from a Shas member when something bad happens to someone]
• We almost got rid of them - conclusion: there is no God!
• They did not parachute in the army - so they parachute in civilian life.
• It's very fortunate that these were Kneset members and are already used to suffering lack of oxygen to their brains.

Ancient Fashion Show

My dad's idea of an ancient Fashion Show:

Global Warming

I'm going to jump on that bandwagon, just because everyone else is, and I hate to feel an outsider.

But here's a brilliant idea for resolving the problem. If only the news of this spread around at airports so everyone could actually DO something about it!

Click here to see Ben and Jerry's fantastic way of helping mother earth.

Word of the day - Rumpology

Just when you thought you've seen it all, and then comes a blind man and shows you more.

Yes, this is an actual science with a name - Rumpology.

Passover and the Pyramids

Cooking for Passover this year was a lot easier than previous years because I had the entire weekend to do it, plus half a day on Monday. So in the best of tradition, I overdid it, and ended up with one extra dish in the refrigerator which I forgot to take out for dessert.

I invited my friend from work and his wife and 2 year old and our real-estate agent who sold us this house (and his wife). For both couples this was their first Passover.

Within the first five minutes of the 2 year-old in our house, he had the meeting of the minds with our refrigerator. The kid lost. The brain swelled beyond what the head could contain. Ok, it was my fault and I absolutely should not have opened the refrigerator door when I knew there was a 2 year-old running outside our house, because apparently in split seconds he can reappear and collide with the door. The five cubes of ice helped reduce the lump from the four inch length, and an inch protruding from the forehead (I kid you not!!!). But apparently it wasn't enough to convince this kid to sit still.

For the next three hours he opened and slammed every single cabinet door he could find (and apparently, we have more than we need), started the dishwasher four times (on empty, because he's learned to do it at home), banged his forehead against the floor (because he can), slid down our steps (because his dad specifically told him not to go near the steps!), and finished all the sugar cookies I had.

All in all I had a fantastic time, up until going to bed, when my husband decided it was good timing to tell me, "You know, the chicken wasn't all the way cooked." When I responded completely shocked, "Why didn't you TELL ME????" His answer was, "I noticed only when they were all done." The only reason I didn't slap him was because I was too tired and my arms were hurting from the cooking.

Every year I celebrate coming out from slavery to freedom by cooking. It's the two times a year I cook (and I hate it!). It makes me feel like a slave to tradition sometimes. But I suppose without this experience how would I appreciate freedom?

And who am I to complain compared to my ancesters who apparently, according to a new theory, built the pyramids from the inside out. To watch the video click here.

Catching up

Sometimes when life overwhelms me my brain goes into such overdrive that I cannot think straight nor write anything down. The past two weeks have been so hectic for me that I did not email my friends nor write on my blog obviously.

This is going to be one of those posts that goes all over. I'll do my best to organize it into topics to make it easy on the eye, but I warn you it may get really long.

A BAD JOB INTERVIEW

I had a disappointing experience at a job interview which I thought was just a formality. It started out by the manager asking me to come for an interview with her assistant. Her assistant turned out to be a young lady in her late 20's, which is not really what I had expected. I come from a company where a job interview is held with two males in their early 60's, both of which hold a high position in the company. And here I was being interviewed by someone who has a boss to answer to.

It started out by me asking for some clarifications:

Three weeks vacation?

Response: "We only give two."

Me: That's a deal breaker. I want three.

Response: "Sorry."

Me: Salary $##,###!

Response: "Oh, we don't pay THAT much!"

Me wanting to respond with: "Ummm...shouldn't you be asking the client first if he's willing to pay?!!!"

Me: Do you pay for a professional membership? Because my company pays for my membership now.

Response: "No."

Me: Do you have training sessions for your employees?

Response: "It's only for Project Managers. You have to submit a special request to the president if you're interested, and it has to be approved by him."

Next it continued with the "job interview":

Young lady: "How do you feel about working in a small office or a cubicle?"

Me [in a fit of laughter]: "Are you fucking kidding me? Am I out of high school looking for a receptionist job that you're asking me this?"

Young lady: "If I called your employer and asked about you, what would he say?"

Me [thinking this is getting outright ridiculous]: "Ok, are you actually interviewing me? It's a done deal, the client wants me, you're about to lose the revenue off me if I walk away. Don't be so stupid!"

Young lady: "If I treat you like an admin, would you be interested in working for us?"

Me [just about outraged]: "Ok, you can shove this job up your ass. I'm done wasting my time here!"

The above is only partially fictional. Believe me, if you read between the lines of the interview, that'd be the interpretation.

I left the interview and walked straight into my client's office: "There's been some major miscommunication with your potential contracting vehicle. I was treated like an admin and not a project manager."

Client: "Oh, I truly apologise. I'll make some calls to straighten this out."

Following day, in the afternoon I get a call from the manager of the young lady.

Manager: "I understand you had a job interview yesterday and you had some questions."

Me: "Yes. Professional membership?"

Manager: "For what?"

Me: "PMI"

Manager: "What's that?"

Me: "Ok, you gotta be kidding me!"

Manager: "We only give 2 weeks vacation."

Me: "Oh dear, my client still hasn't talked to you, huh?"

Manager: "And you're asking for too much money, we only pay $20,000 less than what you asked for in your position."

Me: "Ummm...Did you even READ my resume? I'm way over-qualified for what you're implying here! I'm applying for a project manager position."

Manager: "No, you're not!"

Me: "YES, I AM!!! The client has an open position to fill my position and it's for a project manager."

Manager: "No, it's for a project analyst level 3."

Me: "And explain to me again why I'd take 2 weeks vacation (which is 1 week less than what I get now) and $10,000 less than my company gives me now?! Do I sound like a freaking moron to you? You can shove your program analyst level 3 position and forget about the potential revenue you could have gotten off me as a project manager. I'll take my business elsewhere!"

A GOOD JOB INTERVIEW

Two days later I contacted another woman, whom I've been in touch with since December.

Me: "Hi, I'm having trouble staying on board with this current client. Do you have anything for me?"

Business woman: "Sure! With your stellar resume - absolutely! Can you meet me tomorrow for coffee?"

Me: "Why, of course!"

Following morning:

Me: "My salary demand is $##,### + benefits.

Business woman: "Of course. That sounds about right considering you're a PMP with an outstanding resume."

Me: "Three weeks vacation?"

Business woman: "Three weeks vacation & sick time."

Me: "Oh, ok." [it's less than my company, but I'll figure it out]

Business woman: "The job is very challenging, are you sure you're interested?"

Me: "Absolutely!"

That evening I wrote an email with more questions:

Do you pay for annual professional membership fees?

Do you reimburse for parking fees ($225 a month)?

Do you have any training sessions for your project managers?

Do you pay for any licensing exam fees?

Answers:

Yes, I will pay for your PMI membership and your AACE annual membership.

Yes, I will reimburse you for parking.

Yes, we have training sessions every quarter.

Yes, I will cover misc fees for a licensing exam, plus the day off.

Hmmmm....tough call. Do I go for the company that treats me like an admin and offers me 2 weeks vacation and $10,000 less than what my company pays me now? Or do I go for the company that treats me like a respected Project Manager and offers me 3 weeks vacation & sick time, and a salary that is $23,000 more than what my company pays me now?

Wow, overwhelming decision here. Not sure I can take the pressure.

THE JOB

The job at this point is only a potential job and only tomorrow my future employer will meet with the client to see if they're interested in me. They'll look at my resume and will have to determine if they are desperate enough to take me.

I've already spoken to someone working there and I know two others who've worked there and were fired.

All three agree - highly stressful environment. Poor management. Lack of standards. No order. No organization. Lots of politics. Lots of incompetent end-users.

This is the ideal environment for me! The type of place I can thrive in because I like to put order everywhere I go. Of course the biggest question is whether they'll accept my opinions. I'm not necessarily the type of person who projects the attitude of "listen to me. NOW!" on first sight. I'm pettite - 5'3", 100lb soaking wet.

Hopefully, they'll look at my resume and say, "yes, she's the one for us."

Hopefully. Because if it falls through I'm freaking stuck with my current company which I can no longer stand and absolutely MUST leave!

HOUSE

After numerous agonizing weekends at the old house, it finally went up on sale yesterday. Not before I almost had a nervous breakdown from dealing with my hubsand and his screwed up list of priorities. Actually, I'm thinking this deserves a new post of its own. So I'll stop this here and continue another day.

PASSOVER

I think I tried to invite a dozen couples to my Passover meal tomorrow night. Instead I got, eleven "sorry, can't make it. But we have to do dinner sometime!" Ok, that's just lovely, but still - I want to have my very own Passover meal on MONDAY like all other 10 million Jews around the globe.

So I postponed it for the first time in my life by a day, to Tuesday just so a couple of friends can make it. Then it turns out - they can't make it. ARGH!

But I'm still cooking. A lot. And I'll have my Passover dinner. Even if it means my dog will have to sing the four questions.

EASTER

Cancelled this year. I don't have time for it. I've spent every single weekend in the past two months trying to get our townhouse ready for sale. I'm still living out of boxes in the new house because I have no cabinets here. We need to go shopping for closets! And we need to unpack.

Easter can wait a year.

BABYSITTING

Going to Chuck E. Cheese's with a six year old and a two year old for the first time is a blast. Quite an experience, especially when the two year old doesn't speak, AND understands only one language which I just haven't had the time to brush up on recently. Thankfully, the six year old apparently understood everything the two year old wanted.

This turned out particularly funny as we were eating Pizza, and the two year old says her only 2 English words the entire day: "AWESOME PIZZA!"

HEALTH

I've recovered from the flu. After dropping to 99 lb, I'm beginning to gain the weight back. Tfu Tfu Tfu.