Night Out in Town

[Warning: This post rated R. If you're under 18, click here.]

First, thank you to all my well wishers. I've been through a rough week. I had surgery last week and recovery wasn't as swift as I was hoping. Originally I was going to write something funny about the surgery, but I tell you, it's not easy coming up with something funny when you're in freaking pain.

Anyway, after this tough week, I needed a blow job.

So I had a Blow Job with a friend tonight.

If you've read my last post you already know I don't do alcohol. Well, that was going to change today. I've had enough of not being invited out for a drink with friends, just because people perceive me as a serious person who doesn't drink or a person who doesn't know how to have fun (oh what do they know anyway?!).

So I made a call to a friend and today was D Day. And my first alcoholic drink was...a Blow Job.

3/4 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
3/4 oz. Kahlua
Whipped cream

Glass to Use: Shot glass

Mixing Instructions:
This drink is strictly for the ladies! Combine Kahlua and Bailey's in a shot glass, and top with a puff of whipped cream. It must be drunk without using your hands!

And yes, my friend took photos of the look on my face trying to get past the creamy part of the Blow Job. I managed to consume half of it before choking (maybe the image of this creamy leaning pyramid was too much for my brain to overcome). My friend finished the rest. Thank dog for drinking friends!

I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather drink the real thing over the alcoholic version. Though I imagine it'd be hard to find those bars. (Did I just come across a brilliant business idea targeting women consumers? Oh heck, sure why not, let's include the male consumers, too!)

So as we sat there having a great time, my friend asked for another drink, the look on my face prompted my friend to react with: "I can't handle you sober, I gotta have another drink! You're killing me."

Watch out world, I'm an alcohol virgin and in desperate need of a change. I'm determined to try every drink I can get past my smell senses, until I force my taste buds to accept alcohol, dammit! Here's to a fruitful search of the perfect alcoholic drink for me.

I wonder if there are non-alcoholics anonymous that I could join. I feel so embarrassed about going through this change at this age. I need help. I really do.


Morning after: The alarm went off and in a sleepy state of mind I told my husband: "Blow Jobs suck!" Without hesitation he answers, "I thought that was the point?"