Doctor's note

I've had it with my husband and decided to schedule him for a doctor's appointment. There's just so much complaining and issues a wife can tolerate, right?

Some of you may wonder what took me so long, after all we've been married 14 years. Well, it's not that, it's just that if I trust my husband to go to a doctor I expect him to be an adult about it and admit he's broke (physically that is, not financially). Instead he's visited a doctor just to come back home and complain some more.

Well this time I got smarter. I saw the doctor last week and warned him ahead of time - "I'll be sending my husband next week with a doctor's note. That is, my husband will have a note for you from his wife with all her complaints." The doctor chuckled to that, but I plan to surprise him tomorrow.

This is the letter my husband is carrying inside a closed envelope to deliver to the doctor tomorrow (and I'm dead serious. This is the exact content of the letter):

• · Multiple allergies during every springtime (specific allergies identified May 2007).
  Medication: Alegra D started May 2007.
  · Lower back problems. Treated by chiropractor once a month.
  · Occassional upper back spasms
  · Occassional headaches
  · Joint pains: knees, hands.
  · Last blood tests done: August 2005 (elevated cholesterol levels with no fasting)
  · Surgery: August 2005. Last follow up: June 2006.
  · Highly irritable when hungry (e.g. morning before breakfast, or late afternoon if the only meal was breakfast).
  · Easily distracted (symptoms of ADD) – only wife is complaining, everyone else thinks it’s okay when husband interrupts mid-conversation to mention an entirely different topic.
  · Unusually tired during the daytime.
  · Trouble staying asleep. Constantly wakes up at night due to back pains and other complaints (possibly his wife kicking him at night in her sleep, or maybe it's the dog).
  
  Overall: nice husband, but needs repair and upgrade.