The Job Interview

I don't even know where to begin with everything that I've been doing in my "retirement."

I suppose I can do it chronologically.

The first Monday of unemployment began with an interview with my possibly-future-client. Due to the nature of this client, they will be referred to as "The Department-That-Must-Not-Be-Named" - TDTMNBN (whoa, that's too long, I'll shorten it to DNN - department-no-name). That was a fun interview. 40 minutes of drilling me about my work experience. At the end they were nice enough to say, "do you have any questions for us?" I blinked and said, "Sure. I'd like to hear more about the project you plan on putting me on." The response, typical of DNN, "Except that. We can't answer that question due to the nature of this department." So yeah, I'm headed to a job I don't know when I'm starting and when I start I won't know what I'll be doing. It sounds absolutely fantastic. I mean truly - a fantasy of a job. I can't wait.

Unfortunately, they feel they can wait. Working for DNN requires some special paperwork and bureaucracy to go its course. They've had mine since April 13th. They're dying to get me on board, but they have no control of their sub-department-that-must-not-be-named to get this processed faster.

It was a wonderful Monday. I'm really looking forward to work for this client. Particularly because he asked me the most intelligent question I've heard in nine years of employment at the previous company - "Are you a member of PMI?" and "Are you a licensed PMP?" Finally, someone who appreciates my credentials. Another question that made me feel like jumping over the table and kissing the man - "What tools do you use in your management?" The smile on his face when I mentioned Microsoft Project, Microsoft Access, Microsoft Excel and anything the client prefers - made him almost hyperventilate from excitement.

But my absolute favourite question - "Have you ever dealt with irate customers?" and "How have you dealt with confrontations or conflicts with the clients?" That's when I gave him a blank stare and asked the dumb question, "What do you mean irate customers?" So he tried to gently warn me that should I take this job I'll be dealing with customers who'd confront me about being six months late on a delivery, not getting what they wanted, not doing what they say, etc. He was worried about me internalizing everything and not having the tools to deal with irate customers. I answered with all honesty - "No, I've never dealt with irate customers. Maybe because I always give them what they want?" That put a smile on his face. Then he asked how I'd deal with an irate customer, I told him that's an easy answer, "I'll go back home and take it all out on my husband!" This got them laughing and all happy about my method of dealing with stress. I then added that the way I deal with customers is proactive, to ensure they're not irate - by informing them about any schedule delays and budget overruns immediately upon knowing about it, because I know customers don't like surprises. This answer made them smile and put a check mark on their paper. I dunno - this really isn't brain surgery. Wouldn't everyone say the same?

After that interview I went back to my previous client to return my badge, and told them about this question. The client looked at me with this look of astonishment, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME????"..."Of course you've dealt with irate customers!!! What would you call....and....and...and..." I just stood there baffled and said, "I didn't think they were irate. I completely understood why they were frustrated and they had every right to be irate."

I can't wait for my first irate confrontation. I'm getting all hyped up for this job.