To those who commented

I want to thank everyone for taking the time to respond to my question from yesterday. Your responses and suggestions were more helpful than any google search I could have done.

I got a card and wrote on it our condolensces, offered our help and signed it with our full names, address, phone numbers and email. Then I went over and knocked on the front door. I had already met our neighbour's daughter one time briefly as we said hello over our yard's fence from a distance in our first week here. She answered the door and I expressed my sadness and gave her the card. She said she didn't remember our names and I told her I wrote it in the card in case she needs any help. It seemed like she and a couple of family relatives were cleaning up the house and packing everything. I offered all the leftover boxes we gathered from our house moving. She was extremely grateful for all the boxes I gave her, because her mother had a huge collection of barbie dolls (400+) and other things that needed packing.

I then asked which charity we can donate to and she said The American Cancer Society. And that's what I did.

I know some of you will think I did a good deed, but I only feel like I silenced my conscience and guilt over not offering help sooner. I don't feel good at all. It's as if I did something now just for my own feel good and after it was too late and not really to help a neighbour whom I knew was dying.

A sad event and a question

I know, I know. I should be standing in the corner for not making use of my "retirement" and post more. But somehow this has become a busier lifestyle than having a full-time job.

I promise to write sometime this week. Maybe even tomorrow. But once I start writing, it'll very likely be several posts in one day. So be prepared to read different things at one time. Or maybe I'll just save as draft and post later so as not to bore everyone.

In the meantime, I need some advice from everyone as I am not familiar with American customs. We moved to a single family home in a wonderful neighbourhood six months ago. This weekend, our next door neighbour passed away. We knew she was very ill and dying, but the only help we extended was shovel the snow from her driveway one time. I feel really bad about not trying to reach out. I have no excuses for it. I know her daughter and her family are cleaning up her house now (I see the trash bags piling up) for the past two days. Do I go over with flowers? A card? Do I leave a card in the mailbox? Do I ignore? I want to extend an offer to help with anything that I can, since I'm right next door and obviously much closer than where her daughter lives. I can't offer any physical help, nor can I cook, so should I just not offer help at all? What's the best way to acknowledge that I'm sorry about their loss?