Can't wait for 2007

With my immune system running on low I managed to catch a nasty cold from my mother-in-law this Christmas. It happens every year without fail. Somehow I never learn the lesson to just stop celebrating these Christian holidays and stick to my own. So I'm feeling all miserable now with multiple health problems at the same time. I've been contemplating death a bit too frequent recently and trying really hard to keep things in perspective. One small ray of sunshine - my surgery has been bumped up and will happen next week.

Maybe I'll feel well enough to celebrate my 14th Anniversary the week after.

The annual office party resulted in some choice swear words on my behalf. I didn't get the promotion I asked for. I got half the raise of what I wanted. I'm so done with this company. I've spoken to several people so far, and they all want my resume. I suppose there's nothing better to do than work on a resume while feeling all sick and miserable. By April I'll be submitting my resignation. I have to finish the current job I'm on before quitting simply because I plan on staying with this client and just transferring to a different company.

Before April I plan on moving to a new house. We found a house and waiting ten more days before putting a contract on it. We're hoping that some other house in this neighbourhood will go on sale, because this house requires some changes to it and I'm not eager to move and start managing contractors.

Figures that when I'm feeling the sickest and most miserable I'm invited to a ton of parties. I hate missing out on parties, no matter how sick I am. So even after spending an entire day at the ER three days after my surgery and eventhough I couldn't eat or drink anything, I still went to the office party. Tonight we're invited to a friend's 30th surprise birthday party. We were invited back in October and I promised I'd come. Then on Sunday we're going to the annual fun New Year party that helpfully provides me with fun videos to upload here. I suppose I can handle all these parties with a good box of tissues.

Next week ought to be really interesting with New Year on Monday, and a federal holiday on Tuesday, and then my surgery on Thursday.

Sometimes when I can get my head out of the fog I try to think of other people who have it worse than I do at this time. So here's a thought - how would you like to be the President of the United States and have TWO presidential funerals fall during your time in office? I don't know what the statistics is, and whether any other president endured two funerals, but I think he should get the hidden message there - "Boy, I'm so ashamed to belong to what used to be a prestigious group of presidents, that I can't bear the thought of living with you in office any more!"

Here's another one who's starting on the left foot - the new elected mayor of Washington D.C. -Mayor Fenty. Was supposed to start his first day in office on Tuesday, Jan. 2nd. His first role in that position - attend a presidential funeral at the National Cathedral. His first action before even becoming mayor - postpone his own inaugration celebration where 15,000 people were scheduled to attend. Mayor Fenty, words of encouragement - it can only get better!

Wishing everyone a Delightfully Happy New Year!

Jerusalem in the Snow - More Photos (2003)

And the type of snow I don't care for:

It's snowing!

No, it's not snowing where I live, but it's snowing in Israel - a rare occurance which typically gets all the headlines. I don't think there is a more beautiful sight than photos from Jerusalem in the snow. I will try to upload more later tonight.

When I grew up in Israel it would snow on one mountain up north (Mt. Hermon) about a few days a year. That's the mountain where Israelis go skiing. And before anyone laughs, we do have Israelis participating in the Winter Olympics. They just don't practice in Israel.

Jerusalem gets a little snow about once in a few years. But recent years and the "global warming" has caused major shifts in weather patterns in Israel. About 15 years ago was the first time it snowed in Haifa (a coastal city) - ever. It was a huge celebration in my city and everyone went out to the streets (which later became the worst traffic jam in Haifa history). Since then it snowed in Haifa about every couple of years.

When Americans think of snow they're thinking Denver type snow that closes down airports for Christmas travellers. Feet of snow. When Israelis think of snow they're thinking of tiny flakes that fall and melt as they touch the ground. And if it falls long enough there may be a paper thin layer of snow on the ground by evening.

Photos all over the Israeli media are being published now - they're so pathetic that I'm embarrassed to upload them. You would all laugh at the excitement over a few flakes. But for someone who grew up in Israel - snow is definitely cause for excitement.

Don't get me wrong - I live in the US and cannot stand snow! That's because too much of it falls here, and it stays freezing cold for months at a time. In Israel it's fun because it happens one day, and the following day you wear a sweatshirt outside without a coat because it's warmed up already. You learn to appreciate things in life when they're not in abundance.

One down, one more to go

Some "notes to self" for future reference:

• When scheduling surgery, try to remember what time you're scheduled, rather than putting a reminder in your outlook for "all day" event.
• When you realise you don't know what time it's scheduled for, don't wait for 5pm the day before to call and ask.
• Do not schedule surgeries on Jewish holidays, it really screws up the holiday for you.
• Do not schedule surgeries a week before Christmas, especially if you're not done shopping for Christmas gifts for your family-in-law.
• Give your husband a two hour training pre-surgery on how to treat his wife post-surgery. This could prevent the inevitable fight we have every time while I'm in pain.
• Make sure you ask the doctor to prescribe percocet in a form that is swallowable, especially if he's going to prescribe two prescriptions of 50 pills each.

I'm alive, as you probably gathered by now, but it took me longer than planned to be able to admit this. I way under-estimated this surgery. I figured it would be like previous surgeries where I'd feel a lot better after and would be able to eat a five course meal after. I was wrong. Very wrong. I spent two days in bed in severe pains and high fever. I'm hoping I'm over it now, though I can hardly get up or walk without pain. Going to work tomorrow is questionable.

The results from the surgery were not fantastic like they've been for the past two years. My disease must be active again and flaring. On Tuesday I will discuss the next surgery with a specialist at Johns Hopkins. I'm still pissed off at him since the last surgery, but I have no choice but go back to him since he was able to give me some peace of mind for the last two years.

I'm ready to go back to bed now. This post wiped me out.

An unhealthy update

In preparation for surgery on Friday I haven't had anything solid to eat since Saturday morning. My brain is running low on any creative, original, or amusing posts. I've also been suffering from severe pains since Saturday, so I'm not much in the mood for writing. Last night I was considering going to the ER but decided against it simply because I already know the local hospital will not know what to do with me. The only hospital that would know is an hour away and I wasn't in a condition to be in a car for that long.

I'm not thrilled about having surgery on Channukah eve. I would have liked to invite friends over to my house and cook all the common Channukah treats for them, but the way my house looks now and the fact that I'm incapable of doing any physical work to clean it up - took care of that idea. So I may have to invite myself over to my friends instead. Although I find it difficult to believe I'll be coherent enough to be able to celebrate Friday eve.

Next week I have a consultation with another surgeon to schedule the next surgical procedure. I wish they could make exceptions for patients like me and perform multiple surgeries in one go. Instead I have to suffer several times.

I'm going to try and take it easy tomorrow. Stay home and get ready for the surgery. I'm already pushing myself a bit too much this week by going to work, but thankfully no one has asked me yet why I hardly get up from the chair. Nor did anyone notice that I'm walking at a pace of a 90 year old woman with a walker. Though I think my boss noticed that my lunch consisted of a tiny container of cottage cheese. That'll be my breakfast and lunch. The last real meal before I go on clear liquid diet.

I just want to be past all these damn surgeries. I'm tired of being sick. Tired of being in pain.

It's a matter of opinion

Last week the Conservative Jewish leaders voted to ease the ban on gay Rabbis and gave permission for same sex commitment ceremonies. Unlike Christianity, Judaism does not have a "Pope." Our religion is led by groups of Rabbis. More of a Democracy than anything else. No Rabbi leads all the Jews in the world in the sense of "do as I say, or..."

For those who are not familiar with Judaism as much - there are three main streams in Judaism (and one that is not as popular but does exist): Orthodox, Conservative and Reform (the fourth one is Humanistic Judaism, which I'm more aligned with). Within the Orthodox there are numerous sects that are defined by their founding Rabbi (typically of Eastern European descent back in the 18th century and going all the way back to before Christ). I'm over-simplifying it, so don't hold it against me. The Orthodox and Conservative are the main streams in Israel. The head Rabbi of Israel is Orthodox. Ultra Orthodox Judaism is the stricter of all. Ultra Orthodox Jews do not serve in the Israeli army. Conservaitve Jews serve.

The two other main streams - Conservative and Reform - are a product of the US & Germany (respectively) in the early 19th century. The Reform movement is not recognized in Israel. Meaning, their decisions and rulings do not have any impact on Jews living in Israel and are only relevant in the US.

In order to understand Conservative Judaism, one must understand Reform Judaism (which came earlier). Orthodox and Reform are on the two far ends of the Jewish faith. Conservative Judaism came about as an answer to Reform and an attempt to find the middle ground between the two extremes of Judaism.

One of the main differences between Reform and Orthodox is the definition of a Jew. Orthodox holds it by the mother - if the mother is Jewish, the child is Jewish. Reform includes the father - if the mother OR father is Jewish, the child is Jewish. The reason for the difference is quite interesting. Orthodox Judaism goes back in our history to the Rabbis of the 1st century, when the Greeks ruled over the Holy Land. The Greek soldiers would rape the Jewish women who became pregnant as a result. The Rabbis then were worried that all these newborn bastards with Jewish mothers would be lost to our people as they would not be considered Jewish. Due to the mass killing of Jews, and the fear that our people would be wiped off the face of the earth, they made a ruling that claimed that if the mother is Jewish, the child is Jewish - no matter who fathered the child (whether a product of rape, adultery, etc.). The reasoning behind this ruling - you could always tell who the mother is, you couldn't tell who the father was. Reform Judaism came along and said that in modern life and with the assimilation of Jews into other faiths, we're losing too many potential Jews due to interfaith marriages (a Jewish father to a non-Jewish mother). So they made a ruling that claimed that if the father is Jewish the child is Jewish. Of course in modern science it's easy to tell who the father is, so this ruling was just advancing with science.

One almost expects only two ends to any discussion in Judaism (e.g. You're either defined a Jew by the mother or both). But here comes a very common belief about Jews that many gentiles find amusing:

If you have two Jews in a room, you'll have three opinions.

For those who think this impossible, funny, unrealistic, stupid, I want to stress that it is absolutely true and is an integral part of being a Jew. We hold the concept of discourse and discussion in high regard and it's essential to play the devil's advocate in any disagreement. It's part of our upbringing and our way of thinking. It goes back to the Talmud scholars of the 1st century and it remained in our teachings since.

Case and Point: read the article about Conservative Leaders voting to ease the ban on gay Rabbis. I bring to you the quote from the article:

Four of the law committee's 25 members resigned in protest of the decision.
It takes the votes of six panel members to declare an answer to be valid.
Thirteen members voted in favor of allowing gay ordination and same-sex ceremonies, and 13 voted against — meaning that at least one rabbi voted for both positions.

Speechless

Some images leave me speechless. The one below - I have no idea what to say. This is beyond words, I think.And yes, this is an actual sport in Saudi Arabia! Camel racing led by robot jockeys. You don't believe me? Search Google's images for camels and robots and just watch the images, or click here.

Some odd signs where I work

One of the projects I managed recently involved a library. One would expect a library to have signs that are written by...oh...I suppose educated people, right?

Or actually, if an uneducated sign was put up, one would expect the head librarian, the top boss, the federal paid employee to notice it and comment on it, right?

And of course you would expect the sign to be corrected sometime within a month if this library is as heavily occupied as this librarian kept telling everyone. I mean, I can't possibly be the only person who'd notice something, comment on it, and cause a corrective action to take place, can I?!
I guess you guys know the answer to these questions. So without further delay, I give to you - The Sign:

And for those of you who would like to give a break to someone who just made a typo, I'll give you evidence # 2:

I will remind everyone that these signs were made by librarians - people who are required to read and write book's as a qualification for finding employment at a federal agency.

Thankfully, we proceeded to demolish this library, relocated the staff to another library and relocated the shameful notices to the trash. With that I thought we will no longer encounter strange signs by these librarians.

Until I saw this a month later:

Only the librarian and a handful of people know that ILL stands for the division of international law or something obscure like that.

Animal mutilation

I thought I owe everyone an update on the recent animal mutilation that occured at my house. I'm sorry to say but the Seal-Once-Called-Walrus has been through some further plastic surgery and as of his second day in our house, is now missing another critical apendage.

We now refer to him as the flipped-off-seal. Yup, our dog flipped him off.

Once again, I must warn everyone that the following image is very graphic and may seem disturbing to some sensitive viewers. Please use your own judgement when scrolling down.

Big Brown Fuzzy Chicken Turns 10

Ten years ago, this bundle of joy entered our lives. I can't bear to think of ever living without him. This is what makes me smile every single morning, every day when I get back from work, and every surgery I've been through. He's the most gentle dog I could ever hope for.

So why do we call him big brown fuzzy chicken? Because he is. He's afraid of anyone tall. He's afraid of any sudden noise. He's scared of balloons. He's terrified of vaccum cleaners. He's just a nervous wreck.

We spoil him rotten because we love him so dearly. He's got us well trained and we worship the ground he walks on. We try not to be biased and claim he's the most beautiful dog in the neighbourhood, but we've received enough compliments to actually believe it's true. Our secret? He eats only dog food, celery, onions and carrots.

For his tenth birthday we gave him a very special treat - a stuffed walrus! Typically we give him the stuffed animals, the ones that squeek with every bite. First thing he does with stuffed animals is tear off the tail. We're not sure why, but I think he figures it's like unwrapping a gift. When my husband and I saw the walrus at the store we both had a huge smile on our face - ahhhhh, no tail! He won't know what hit him. Little did we know how intelligent our dog is.

Make an online slide show at onetruemedia.com

So yeah, toothless walrus, now looks more like a seal thanks to the plastic surgery our dog performed on his birthday present.

**WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MATERIAL CONTAINS A GRAPHIC IMAGE. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO ANIMAL MUTILATION, DO NOT SCROLL DOWN!**

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, 'OLE DOG!

Before you sell your house

If you are in the market for selling your house, please do me a favour and hide your freaky collections before I check out your house. This weekend we checked out six houses. In the first one, Shane let us in, and introduced himself as a family friend taking care of the house. Everything in the house had a native indian slant, even the music in the background. I'm fairly certain that young Mr. Shane was not into this music, but I guess music sells houses. Once we left the house, I was almost expecting Shane to show up as the "resident family friend" in every house we were about to check.

The next house had a slanted shelf on one wall with a beanie baby collection, a china cabinet filled with dolls, and an open old chest with dolls heaping out of it, as if they were gasping for air. I tried real hard to imagine myself in this house, but the image of these dolls all watching me would very likely haunt me every day if I decide to move into that house.

The third house had a wall length china cabinet filled with dolls. I was completely freaked out at this point. I mean, com'n, how common is it to collect dolls, and how likely was it that we would check out two houses and both of them would have a doll collection in a china cabinet? I was tempted to tell the owner to take her two cats, and the doll collection and move in with the other family. Shane can probably babysit the dolls.

We did find a beautiful house, in a perfect location, good price, and nice neighbourhood, but after leaving and discussing it we realised we have accumulated too much crap to be able to move into this house. Even if we throw 2/3 of what we own, it won't be sufficient for what we need.

One of the considerations of buying a house is the city name and street name. It needs to be pronounceable to my family and friends in Israel. We actually found a house on a street named after a TV show, which would work out really well because we already live on a street named after a TV show. This would keep with our theme. This is a bit of a change for me, because I grew up in a street named after a prophet back in Israel. But I suppose prophets and TV shows are still within normal names for streets.